Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
