I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
