You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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