What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
