she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
