Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize