I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize