I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
