Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
