I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's always time for handjobs
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
soo... how was my night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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