I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
