The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
