Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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