1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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