For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
