No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
