Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
