his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
