im six kinds of drunk right now
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
