I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
