what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
