Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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