I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
