Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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