Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
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