Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
