im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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