I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
pop tarts are not kleenex
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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