STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
