I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
