Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
