doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
