The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
