PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.