I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
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Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days