I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.