hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?