I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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