Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have aggressive nipples.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
