New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
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I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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