her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
