conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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