I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
