Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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