She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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