and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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