Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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