I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
