I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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