It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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