tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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