Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize