Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
