found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
