Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
