Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
