I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
