Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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