Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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