Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
