I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
