Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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