he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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