Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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