Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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