I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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