Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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